Meet Sally, from East Sussex

Posted 7 years ago in the Our partnerships category

Sally has Lupus and Ehlers-Danlos. She was partnered with canine partner Ethan in 2015.

Sally and canine partner Ethan

Up until the age of 17 my life was pretty much as near to fairytale as you could imagine.  I had a fantastic family life, fantastic friends, I was excelling academically and in extra curricular activities and was looking forward to a promising career as a doctor.

It all changed in the Easter of my A level year when I was struck down by a mysterious virus from which I never recovered.  It was at that point in my life that I had no idea that things were going to get worse and how much worse they could get.  I went from being able to run around, ski, play netball for the school, dance, sing, do drama, study for ‘A’ levels and much more, to a person who was just exhausted by walking.  I then became unable to walk for any length of time, leaving the house was too much, so I mainly was at home all the time on the sofa or my bed getting up to go to the loo only.

Later I was diagnosed with Lupus and now with Ehlers-Danlos, as well as many accompanying autoimmune and connective tissue conditions.

So what did I do?  I just cracked on in the way I have always dealt with life.  I pushed and pushed as hard as I could and achieved the highest grades, although it turns out this doesn’t necessarily work for your health.

In 2013 I was admitted into intensive care with uncontrollable seizures, was on a breathing tube and was in hospital for about 2.5 months trying to break the cycle of these seizures.  I have been in a wheelchair ever since, but my life has steadily improved.  The length of time I can sit up with my legs down has increased and the length of time I have to lie horizontally has decreased.

My life is very different to that of pre-2005 and to that of someone of my age, 29.  Despite the doctors maltreatment of me, despite mis-diagnoses, despite the loss of so many things in my life including my studies, my career, my dreams (I wanted to be a doctor abroad delivering babies), certain members of my family, some friends, a boyfriend, my body, my appearance, my clothes and much more I will manage to maintain hope.

I found out about Canine Partners quite a few years before I actually applied.  One of my cousins works in London and saw them at an event, so suggested I looked into it further especially as I have always been an animal lover.  However, in between filling in my application form and actually being assessed for a canine partner, I just wasn’t well enough to pursue it so a couple of years went by.

When I was well enough to get assessed and passed the application process, I was buzzing.  Then when I actually got the call to say I had been potentially matched with a dog I was desperate to know its name, breed, sex, colour etc – it really felt like a blind date!  When I met Ethan for the first time we had a blast.  Then we all sat down to discuss if we were suitably matched and whether training could go ahead.

For the first time in my life I was actually sensible and I realized that a two-week residential training course wasn’t something I really wasn’t up to.  Despite having this absolutely gorgeous dog in front of me, I managed to try not to get too attached to him or too excited so I could go home and have a serious discussion with myself, my family and my carers – totally unlike me!  I think I sensed what a momentous and also incredibly responsible and energy consuming task having a canine partner would be.

I then received a call from the Canine Partners team asking me what I was thinking.  Miraculously, before I could say that my stamina and health wouldn’t allow me to do the residential, they said they had come up with a solution!  Trainers, Els and Clare had figured out that they could dedicate more time with me over the first week of the residential.  I would then go home for a week while the others on the course completed it, then the trainers would come up and do the second week with me at home.

I couldn’t believe my luck and it truly felt like a miracle – Ethan and I were going to be partners.  I burst into tears, squealed and jumped around on the sofa in the realization that my new partner for life was Ethan!

I found the week of on site training really hard.  It wasn’t that Ells or Clare weren’t fantastic; it was just that my body lets me down and is weak.   We realised after the first day that I wouldn’t be able to keep up with the schedule, so they adapted it for me and I managed to some training each day for the whole week.

Ethan stayed behind until the trainers could bring him up and when I knew he was arriving I felt like my true love was coming home!  It was another tough week and I didn’t realise it would take so much out of me, but now we are a year on we have our own routine and are in sync with one another.

Life with Ethan means I can be in my bedroom on my own without anyone else there for back up.  He can pass my water bottle, fetch the phone and call for help if needed.  Previously someone had to be with me 24/7 but now the carers just have to be in the house and I can have some independence.  He’s learned to do things that I didn’t think were ever possible.  He paid for my meal contactlessly last night, whose dog pays for their meal!!  If I suddenly get a big bill for dog food and treats, I’ll know he’s been swiping away!

Ethan has given me a positive outlook about being in a wheelchair.  I am a smiley person and people would often come and ask me about my bright pink wheelchair but also my health.  Now the first thing they ask about is Ethan and what he does for me, which I love – my poor health and disability are not the focus of the attention.

For the future we are going from strength to strength.  I see us outside the flat without any other companions but each other.  We have been able to do so much and achieve so much already and we are only a year in.  Task work wise Ethan has learnt all the skills required to get all his certificates, but it is not all about that.  It is about seeing new ways everyday where we can implement methods whereby Ethan and I can do more and more on our own.  In another five years, who knows what we will have achieved together.

We have a very close relationship and are in tune with one another’s needs.  He is beginning to identify when my normal movements turn into the jerky movements of a seizure.  So hopefully soon he will be able to alert people that I am having a seizure without me having to ask for help.

Ethan doesn’t feel like my pet or even my carer, he feels like my partner.  I genuinely can’t be thankful enough for all the people in Ethan’s life who have worked hard to create this fantastic dog.  I am so grateful to Canine Partners, an amazing charity that has quite literally changed my life.

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